N+A Miller: Our Rainbow | Gracelyn Jane

Finally sitting down to type out Grace's birth story; I'm only 7 weeks late in writing this post ;)

Here's the quick birth announcement for those who don't care to read

Monday, March 21st, I had my weekly OB appointment at 38 weeks and 3 days. I was getting antsy, as I did with Ellie at this same time in pregnancy, because it's when John made his debut. The week before I was still hardly dilated and I hadn't really had any contractions that were strong enough to make me think anything was happening. Well, when she checked me, a little grin popped up across her face and she said, "oh, you're 3cm and almost all thinned out!" Talk about a rush of excitement; I had been praying that miss Grace would stay in until the 19th since we had a big day in Kansas City that day, so I was happy to have made it past that point still pregnant, but was READY now to be not be pregnant.

After measuring my belly she said I was pretty behind on measurements, again, and wanted one last growth ultrasound. Wednesday, the 23rd, I went in for my growth ultrasound where the tech estimated her to be 6 pounds and 13 ounces. Not too small at all, just a few ounces smaller than John & Ellie. However, my amniotic fluid level was low... she said anything 5 and below requires same day induction and I was a 6. After telling me this, the tech left the room to go tell my OB.

Dr. Dickson came in and said we needed to talk about induction because of the fluid levels. I was now 38 weeks and 5 days. We agreed Friday would be a good induction day at 39 weeks exactly.

I left feeling a little defeated; induction was never in my head this whole pregnancy. After experiencing such a liberating and 100% intervention free/drug free labor and delivery with Ellie, I wanted that again! But, as soon as Dr. Dickson told me about the fluid levels, and spoke of needing an induction, I felt that she was right. I had had little promptings through out the week telling me I'd need an induction. So, even though it wasn't what I wanted to happen, I knew it needed to happen, and that it was the correct decision.

Thursday morning rolls around and as I'm getting out of bed I feel two small gushes of water. Perfect! No induction. I had a few strong contractions in the shower, but then they stopped. Nathan called his boss and then got John ready for preschool, and Ellie ready to go to Nini & Papa's house. I continued to get myself ready & pack our hospital bag (Yep... I'm a procrastinator... I had anticipated having all of Thursday to get things ready!). At around 7:45am as I'm doing my make-up, my phone rang, it was Dr. Dickson's nurse asking me if I wanted to go in to the hospital today for induction since Dr. Dickson was on-call. I laughed and said that'd be perfect since I was pretty sure my water had broken an hour and a half earlier.

We arrived at Stormont-Vail Hospital around 9:15am and after checking in, went to L+D triage. The weather had been crazy the past few days and I guess in the hour and a half since I had spoken to Dr. Dickson's nurse, every pregnant woman in Topeka decided to go into labor ha. There weren't any rooms available. So, I sat in triage for a few hours without having any real contractions. I ordered some lunch and after eating it, finally was moved to a labor and delivery room.

I walked for several hours without any real pattern in contractions. After talking to my OB and having a test to see if my water really had broken (it came back negative), she said we needed to completely rupture the membranes. She agreed with me that I probably had a very small leak at the top of the sac, causing my low fluid levels and I had felt gushes this morning when I got up because I had been laying down all night. So, she ruptured the membranes the rest of the way; hardly anything came out, as expected, but it was clear, so no signs of infection or distress. I continued to walk for another two hours. My labor nurse, Hailey, was so great. She never forced me to do anything and only ever provided me whatever information I needed to make my own decisions. Since we were on a time crunch as far as possible infection setting in with ruptured waters, I agreed to have Pitocin started. I continued walking around my room in circles and really felt pretty comfortable. I was checked around 5:30pm and was 5cm now.

Around 7:00pm my mom and sister brought the kids up to the hospital so we could say goodnight and so they could see that I was okay. Around this time, we had a shift change, and I did not like this new nurse... she was too perky and touchy haha. I'm guessing I probably felt this way because I was starting to get really uncomfortable. I was sitting on a labor ball, leaned over onto the bed and swaying through contractions. They weren't terribly painful, but they weren't easy contractions either. After 45 minutes, my mom & sister took the kids back home. I was tired after being up on my feet or bouncing on a ball for the past 8.5 hours so I climbed in bed. The nurse insisted I use a peanut ball (literally a large ball in the shape of a peanut) to keep in-between my legs to keep my pelvis open. Whatever, I don't think it did anything. From 8:15-9:00pm I was nearing the end of my rope as far as pain goes. Pitocin induced contractions are no joke! I had also heard the nurse tell the student nurse to page Dr. Dickson and let her know that the baby's baseline had gone from 130 to 165+... indicating some distress. Wonderful... I definitely didn't want that! I knew I had to relax, but it wasn't happening with these contractions.

I knew I did not want narcotics to take the edge off since they always make me vomit (and seriously... I had done enough of that up until this point!). That left an epidural... which after my horrid experience with John (going in too far, electric shock sensations, only having numb legs, spinal headache for a month afterwards...), had vowed to never have one again. After fighting with myself for 45 excruciating minutes, I asked the nurse who the anesthesiologist on call was (if it was the same man who did mine with John, forget it...), she told me, and it was someone else. I told her that I thought I needed one. I explained what happened with John, and that I was scared, but I also didn't think I could handle this pain anymore; I was having to moan through contractions and couldn't stop shaking, even when they ended. She said she'd check me and we agreed that if no progress had been made, I'd get an epidural. Well, no change. At all.

The anesthesiologist was quick to come. I can't remember his name, just that he had extremely blue eyes. He was so nice and did a fantastic job administering the epidural... I didn't even feel it! After an hour though, the pain was still intense. After doing a cold test (rubbing an alcohol swab on different areas of my body), he determined the dose wasn't adequate (I could feel the cold sensation. Cold and pain have the same receptors or something, which is how he knew I really was in pain still), so he shot me up with an extra bolus.

sweet freaking relief!!!

Within a matter of a minute I went from moaning and shaking, to laughing and relaxing. It was now 10:30pm. A few minutes later the nurse checked me and I was fully dilated, with her head already headed down the birth canal. She called Dr. Dickson, who had gone home a few hours earlier to rest.

I was SO numb. Like couldn't feel my chest to my toes numb... couldn't even feel pressure. Rachel came back to the hospital to take pictures for me since our birth photographer had a family emergency in a different state. Dr. Dickson arrived about the same time, and they set up the room for delivery!

I pushed for 40 seconds and out she came at 11:09pm! I had to ask if she was out, because literally the epidural worked so well that I felt absolutely nothing haha. That made everyone laugh, "yep, she's out!", they said. I only needed 3 stitches so that was nice.

They put her on my chest and all I could think was, there is NO way she's about 7 lbs! I knew it had been a couple years since I'd held a newborn, but I knew John and Ellie weren't this small. They asked if I wanted to feed her before they took her measurements, but I said I wanted to know how much she weighed first. She rang in at 5 pounds, 14.7 ounces! With a small 12 inch head circumference, and 17 3/4 inches long. I knew she was small ha! They quickly gave her back to me, and I fed her. As she was eating, my bp plummeted (35/60 or something ridiculous like that!) and I felt like I couldn't breathe and was super nauseous. I was able to get the words, I'm nauseous out, before Nathan grabbed Grace and I started throwing up in slow-mo into a bag. It was the strangest sensation because I was still so numb, I couldn't feel my stomach, or my chest. Super, super bizarre. They laid my bed back, and made me rest for a while. Once I was okay, I took Grace back to finish feeding her; she wasn't a happy camper at this point. It took me until 4:15am to get feeling back in my legs at which point I was anxious to use the bathroom and get to my recovery room.

Gracelyn ended up needing to stay in the hospital for 3 nights because they had to monitor her for Neonatal Myasthenia Gravis. I cried, a lot lol. I got to stay too, but I really wanted to be home on Easter with the family, and we didn't get released until after 6pm on Easter evening.

Surprisingly enough, this birth was healing to me too. I had said after having Ellie that hers was the absolutely perfect labor and delivery and was really emotionally healing for me after having a traumatic experience with John. And that's still true, but this was healing as well. I'm glad that my epidural was a success, and that I haven't suffered any side effects from it like I did after having John.

So.. newborn pictures! I'm really upset because the autofocus on my lens quit working. Sooo, all these were done with manual focus, which is why there aren't a lot of them. Such a pain in the neck to try to use manual focus on a newborn baby, who WON'T go to sleep :)