What a crazy couple of weeks its been. All of our things are being shipped to Germany. We had to give Bella away, Nathan's in Virginia, we're all moved out of our apartment & I'm back home with my family. WOW. I don't even know how it all happened.
I'm so grateful that my parents are willing & able to let us live with them for the next 8 weeks or so until we finally are off to Germany but lets be honest... No newly married couple & newly pregnant for the first time couple wants to live back at home. We've formed a life for ourselves & had a routine & now it's just.. gone.
It's a very out of control feeling & I miss my husband terribly! I know he's not deployed yet or anything, but I want him here with me. Whenever I hear something funny or interesting I want to be able to tell him & I can't. I'm so mad that he's on a nights schedule- total opposite of mine. Maybe its just my hormones going crazy but I just feel like screaming most of the time lol.
I think what I'm most angry about is he's not here to share the special joys of pregnancy. He's missed all the ultrasounds. In 8 days we find out if we're having a son or a daughter & instead of him being by my side, my mom will be by my side. Again, I'm grateful I don't have to do everything by myself but he's really the only one I want to share this with.
I feel so weak. Yesterday I was just thinking to myself how I'm going to handle a full years deployment. I met Nathan in December and he came home in March from deployment... so that was only 3 months. Then we were married 6 weeks later & 2 1/2 months after that expecting our first baby. Who would've thought this would be my life a year ago? Certainly not me, but, I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my husband so very much & I love this little person inside of me & that's what keeps me going & I know they're what will keep me going when Nathan does deploy. -sigh- this little lady is ready for bed now that I've done my ranting for the day :)
<3
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